I feel like I am being made.
Do you ever watch that show on MTV? It's 'Made' Weekend Break right now, and I've always loved watching Made, because people really change and become someone.
But in real life, it's hard. I feel like I'm being made aswell, I'm made into a model and it has it's ups and downs really, as everything has.
Last time at Oswin's, I broke down and cried and I felt SUCH a loser, I felt like those spoiled kids on Made who had to do just 1 push up and couldn't. I do have to give myself credit for not doing just 1 push up, but an hour of working out HARD with the best personal trainer in my country. But still. It doesn't feel good to suddenly lose your breath and cry in a room full of men with muscles and work-out-gear, you just feel so, so incredibly small.
I didn't lose my senses though, the feeling of being a loser is gone already and my supercrashdiet is almost over. And I'm eating chocolate now :) (It's really that easy to make me happy)

So thank you all for believing in me and I will now continue on being made into a model! I hope 2009 is going to be my year.

Love