Beware for New Year's jokes again tomorrow!
I will post them, because I am cheesy :)

I wonder why they don't have oliebollen elsewhere.

I miss you I miss you I miss you.
And I HATE my room. I HATE painting it, it's superuberboring and nobody helps me.

I need magic.
You don't understand, I don't just need magic, I NEED magic. Intensely.
I cannot stand there being no magic at all in my life. Not because it isn't there, but because it will always be denied and there will always be found 'proof' that it does not exist.
I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU PEOPLE think ABOUT MAGIC, I care about how you people must show the rest of the world that it cannot be there.
That you will do everything with your laser technology and your lake-search-gear to show us that the monster of Loch Ness doesn't exist, that you will do everything to make fun of people who sense other worlds or different creatures, that you will do everything to call people who believe in the power of nature and wicca names and so on..
I want miracles. I don't care for scientific ways to explain them, I don't want you to laugh at the stars, the moon, the sky. I don't want you to say ghosts don't exist, witches don't exist and especially dragons don't exist.
Because I need them. I. NEED. THEM.
I need Voldemort, I need Edward Cullen, I need Lyra and Will, I need Legolas, Aragorn and Frodo. I don't care if I sound silly, but you guys, I need ghosts, vampires, witches, elfs, fairies, wizards, daemons, other worlds.
I want to believe. I want to. I don't believe that everything that isn't proved to exist, is automatically equalling rubbish. We're just so selfish that we believe we are so smart that we have the power to proof things with our human minds.
We cannot proof ANYTHING.
I love the magical world we live in. I just hate us humans ruining it for us all. Sure, this is not Lord of the Rings, but if you use your imagination, you're already halfway.

Love

I feel like I am being made.
Do you ever watch that show on MTV? It's 'Made' Weekend Break right now, and I've always loved watching Made, because people really change and become someone.
But in real life, it's hard. I feel like I'm being made aswell, I'm made into a model and it has it's ups and downs really, as everything has.
Last time at Oswin's, I broke down and cried and I felt SUCH a loser, I felt like those spoiled kids on Made who had to do just 1 push up and couldn't. I do have to give myself credit for not doing just 1 push up, but an hour of working out HARD with the best personal trainer in my country. But still. It doesn't feel good to suddenly lose your breath and cry in a room full of men with muscles and work-out-gear, you just feel so, so incredibly small.
I didn't lose my senses though, the feeling of being a loser is gone already and my supercrashdiet is almost over. And I'm eating chocolate now :) (It's really that easy to make me happy)

So thank you all for believing in me and I will now continue on being made into a model! I hope 2009 is going to be my year.

Love

Hi darlings of mine

I haven't posted here for a very, very long while, but I missed writing in English. I don't know why, but it always seems more easy for me. Maybe because Dutch is more provocating to me, I mean, writing things in Dutch really shows how I am, and that's a bit scary. Not that I cannot expres myself in English, of course.

Well. My life has been all different since the last time I wrote. I graduated high school, I started university, I became a model and stopped going to university.
Now I'm left as a new model, with hopes and dreams, but yet a whole lot to learn. I have no work at the moment, I'm waiting for new things to come.
I have a COSMOgirl coming up, this Thursday, featuring me, I have 3 shoots for students of the ArtEZ coming up and 2 shows in January.
Also, Christmas is next week, YAY! I feel Christmassy, which feels nice and warm and cosy.

I will make a little list, with a little Christmasmessage for each and everyone of you!
Mama & Papa: Thank you so much for supporting me in everything I do. I really appreciate you being lovely parents and not hate me for stopping university. I love you :)
Sjoerd: You are the funniest, funniest, funniest person I know. You make me laugh at everything, thanks for being the little comedian in the house :) <3
Lenna: I love you. You are ill now, and I really really want to care for you, SO BADLY, but you say I can't because I would get ill. But I want to. I don't care in which state you are, how bad you look, how much you sneeze, because I want to be with you always.
Maria: Hi sweet person :) I love that I can still laugh with you after so many years, and that we go swimming and do nothing at all but linger in the water and be insulted by your little sis.
Lot: You are ubertalented, you should know that. You are going to be someone. But untill then you'll just be my someone :)
Steven: WE ALL MISS YOU! But I think it's amazing that you're having so much fun in France, with Icha :)
Xanna: After all those years, really, we didn't change a thing, did we? Haha. I still adore your angelic presence.
Kauf: You're one of those people I can tell everything to, I can talk to you about my most-far-away feelings. And I will be there for you when you need to talk about yours.
Anna: I love that you always understand me and that you and Len are so alike, because, of course you're different people, but it makes me feel closer to you because I've already learned to understand his personality. And that we write stories where we sleep with famous people and we don't even feel silly about it.
Laurie: I miss you. You will always be my partypartner :)
Merel: I love you being the only sane person in modeling world, I feel I can trust you and I adore that we share stupid jokes.
Vita: I remember when I met you, the first thing you said was: 'I was so curious what your voice would sound like.' Because that's your signature to me: your voice. You're such a bright personality and I love doing things with you: it doesn't matter if it's a party, a concert or running through rain and thunder.
Suus: I do miss you at times, you were my drama-relationship and I never see you anymore.
Toeps: Thank you so much for everything, really, and remember that you are a real, real talent :)
Micha: THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN ME, OH-MY-GOD.

Love